Then said the sentence I deserved.
“You made me hate someone I didn’t know.”
Lily wanted to call him immediately.
My instinct was to stop her.
Then I heard myself think it.
And realized I was doing it again.
Noah called his mother instead.
Sarah answered on the first ring.
Twenty-five minutes later, she and Mark were in my driveway.
I had not seen him in eleven years.
He looked older.
Of course he did.
His hair had gray at the temples.
He had gained weight.
There was a line across his forehead I didn’t remember.
But his walk was the same.
Lily stood by the fireplace when he entered.
Mark stopped.
I watched recognition hit him for the second time that night.
He didn’t move closer.
That was smart.
“Hi, Lily.”
She wrapped both arms around herself.
“Did you know who I was at prom?”
“Not at first.”
“But once Noah told you my name?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you come talk to me?”
His eyes filled.
“Because I didn’t know what you’d been told.”
She looked at me.
Then back at him.
“You could’ve asked me.”
“I was afraid.”
“Of me?”
“No.”
He glanced toward me.
“Of making things worse.”
Lily laughed bitterly.
“Apparently everybody in my life makes decisions based on what they think I can’t handle.”
No one had an answer.
Sarah stood beside Noah.
She looked deeply uncomfortable but steady.
Lily turned to Mark.
“Did you want me?”
“Yes.”
No pause.
No qualification.
Just yes.
“Then where were you?”
Mark lowered his head.
“I could give you a list of excuses.”
“I don’t want excuses.”
“Good.”
He looked back at her.
“Your mother made access difficult.”
I stiffened.
He noticed.
Then continued.
“But I let difficult become enough reason to stop trying as hard.”
That surprised me.
He could have blamed me completely.
Part of me expected him to.
He didn’t.
“I was twenty-eight and angry,” he said. “I had a new job four hours away. I thought paying support made me responsible even when I missed visits. Then when your mother fought me, I told myself I was respecting boundaries.”
His voice cracked.
“That was cowardice.”
Lily stared at him.
“You sent letters?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you find another way when they came back?”
“I did sometimes.”
“How?”
“Your grandmother passed messages for a while.”
My mother.
I looked at him.
He nodded.
“She told me not to give up.”
I had never known.
“Then she got sick.”
