Thoughts ran through my head that made me hate myself:
Ben couldn’t find her more attractive than me…
Ben had to have an ulterior motive for marrying her.
Looking back, it hurts to realize how close to the truth I was.
It hurts to realize how close to the truth I was.
***
The next morning, I smiled and helped Rosie put together a wedding inspiration board on Pinterest.
“You’ll be my maid of honor,” she told me. “Promise me.”
“I promise, Rosie.”
Part of me kept thinking my parents would intervene.
But they just smiled and said Ben would take good care of Rosie.
“Promise me.”
Their wedding was small.
Ben wore a grey suit and cried when he saw her walk down the aisle.
My parents were still smiling.
“You chose well,” Dad said to Ben, clapping him on the shoulder.
That stung.
I watched Ben place the ring on Rosie’s finger.
And I wondered if I truly knew the man I called my best friend.
“You chose well,”
***
Three years passed.
I got over my hurt feelings and met a great guy.
Rosie moved into a little yellow house with Ben on the edge of town.
She called me every morning at nine to tell me what she was wearing.
Then came the phone call I had prayed for.
“I’m going to be a mom,” Rosie whispered. “We’re having twins.”
Then came the phone call I had prayed for.
I dropped to the floor of my apartment, laughing and sobbing at once.
All my life, people had said Rosie would never live a normal life.
Now, she was going to be a mom.
Pregnancy& Maternity
I should have known joy that big could not travel alone.
The pregnancy was difficult.
At thirty-four weeks, Rosie was rushed to the hospital.
The doctors’ prognosis was grim.
The pregnancy was difficult.
The waiting room clock ticked past midnight.
I stared at the double doors where they had wheeled Rosie in, willing them to swing open with good news.
Ben sat beside me, his knee bouncing.
“She’s going to be okay,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. “Rosie is strong.”
Ben pressed his palms against his eyes.
I heard a sound come out of him that was somewhere between a sob and a prayer.
The waiting room clock ticked past midnight.
Then a doctor pushed through the double doors.
Ben lurched to his feet.
The doctor’s face told me the truth before his mouth did.
“She’s lost a lot of blood. We’ve stabilized the babies, but Rosie is crashing. We’re doing everything we can, but you need to prepare yourselves.”
The doctor disappeared back through the doors.
Ben stood there, frozen, swaying slightly.
“You need to prepare yourselves.”
I placed my hand on his back.
My best friend.
My brother.
“Ben, look at me. Rosie chose you because you make her feel safe. Give her that same strength now.”
“My promise,” he whispered.
Before I could ask what he was talking about, he turned to me.
His eyes held something I could not name.
“I need to talk to you,” he said. “Away from here.”
“I need to talk to you,”
He led me down the corridor into a small alcove near the stairwell.
“I made Rosie a promise,” Ben said. “Before they took her back. She said, ‘If I don’t wake up, you tell my everything.’”
“Tell me what?”
Ben reached inside his jacket.
“It’s time for you to understand why I really married her.”
‘If I don’t wake up, you tell my sister everything.’
I grabbed the wall to steady myself.
“Please, don’t ruin four years of watching my sister smile because of you.”
“You think I want to be standing in this hallway telling you this while she’s in there? Fighting.”
Every horrible thought I had ever pushed away came rushing back at once.
He had done it for money.
He had married her because I was the one he could not have, and Rosie was the closest he could get.
Every horrible thought I had ever pushed away
Ben pulled out a piece of paper and held it out to me.
“I made a promise, and I’m going to keep it. Just… it’s much worse than you think,” he said. “You’d better sit down.”
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I took the paper with shaking fingers.
The first thing I noticed was the letterhead.
It was from my father’s law firm.
“It’s much worse than you think,”
The next thing I noticed was the payment schedule.
A six-figure sum.
Money to be paid to Ben if he married Rosie.
My parents‘ signatures…
Ben’s signature.
The scream tore out of me before I could stop it.
I thought I understood exactly what I was looking at, but I would soon find out that there was so much more.
The payment schedule.
“You SOLD yourself to marry my sister?”
“I know what it looks like, but let me explain—”
“Explain WHAT, Ben?” My voice cracked against the walls. “That you took money from my parents to marry Rosie? She is fighting for her life in there! And you stood beside her at the altar with a check in your pocket?”
Ben slid down the wall.
Then he said something that stole my breath.
“Explain WHAT, Ben?”
He was crying.
“I never cashed a single one,” he whispered. “Every check they sent went into an account in Rosie’s name. Every dollar. She’ll have it when she needs it. Every penny is hers.”
I wanted to believe him.
But something wasn’t adding up.
“Then why sign it? Why put your name on something so disgusting?”
Something wasn’t adding up.
Ben looked at the floor.
“Because I saw where they planned to send her… A place called Willow Grove.”
The name meant nothing to me.
But the way he said it made my knees weak.
I sank onto the tile across from him because my legs would not hold me anymore.
“Your mother showed me the brochure. She said you both were adults, and Rosie was becoming a burden nobody in the family would carry.”
“I saw where they planned to send her.”
“That’s not true. She’s not a burden, and I would’ve looked after her IF she needed me to.”
“They never planned to tell you.” His voice was so quiet I had to lean forward. “Your mother said, ‘Cathy deserves a life of her own. We won’t chain her to Rosie.’”
“She said that?”
“She offered me a settlement to marry Rosie. Legal guardianship. I didn’t sign for any of that — I signed because I love her. Because I want her to have the life she deserves.”
I looked down at the paper crushed against my chest.
There was one thing I couldn’t get over.
“They never planned to tell you.”
My own parents had done this.
“And Rosie knew…” I said.
Ben nodded.
“I told her a year in. I couldn’t lie to her anymore. She cried. Then she laughed. Then she said she wanted to keep me anyway.”
He smiled through his tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And Rosie knew…”
“Rosie asked me not to. She said you’d go to war with your parents, that the family would be destroyed. I kept that promise until today, when she asked me to make a new promise.”
Parenting
We both turned to look down the corridor.
I thought about the way Ben brought Rosie flowers on Tuesdays for no reason.
The way he could recite lines from her favorite movie.
Their marriage was never a performance.
Their love was real.
But I could not forgive my parents for what they’d done.
But I could not forgive.
“I hated you for two whole minutes,” I whispered.
“I would have hated me for longer.”
Just then, footsteps hurried down the corridor toward us.
I turned to see the doctor approaching.
Something in his eyes told me he was bringing news I was not ready to hear.
I stood and braced myself against the wall.
He was bringing news I was not ready to hear.
The doctor stopped just short of us.
He glanced between Ben and me.
Before he could say anything, the elevator chimed.
My parents stepped out, coats folded neatly over their arms.
They spotted us immediately and walked over to join us.
“How is she?” My mother asked.
My parents stepped out.
“Rosie is stable,” the doctor said. “Both babies are breathing on their own.”
I let out a sob and grabbed Ben’s sleeve.
